OK, OK, he wasn’t handed the keys and told to hit the freeway.  We were visiting my friend Acathea in Oklahoma this past weekend. She lives on an island at the beautiful island resort of Monkey Island. Ok, it’s a lake, and it’s not exactly an island, but it is called Monkey Island! It’s a gated in community and you travel the streets in golf carts most of the time.

We were out at the local resturant eating fried pickles, pulled pork nachos, and drinking bloody mary’s and no longer virgins- shirley temples. We decide to head back and Acathea rode in the back of the golf cart with her baby- Layton, and I was driving with the boys seated next to me. We thought it would make the afternoon even better by swinging by the park, but Acathea just had to go pee (geesh). So we made a pit stop back at the house. I left the key in the cart but Acathea and I realized we should get the key out. As she was reaching for the key Sidney was getting out of the cart and stepped right on the gas….with me in front of the cart. I thought that it was just rolling so I tried really hard to stop the cart. Soon I began to realize that I am indeed not superwoman and I had to abort mission. I jumped off to the side which in turn caused the golf cart to run over the outside of my right leg twisting the whole leg from the hip down. Luckily, there was a passerby also in a golf cart and he stopped and helped us. It’s not like we had very many options what with her having a crawling baby, and me having 2 kiddos myself, so it was great that he stopped. He may not have been able to lift my fat ass up very easily, but he got me inside!

Sidney was fine, he only crossed the street and ran into a tiny ditch which stopped the cart. He was freaked though and wouldn’t let the guy that helped me get him out of the cart. He kept saying “I sorry I wan you oer wit the golf cart, mama” Poor baby.

I went to the chiropractor yesterday and it looks like I tore a ligament in my knee and my back and hips needed some serious realigning. I have cuts all over my legs and foot and am hobbling around like a moron. Worst part is, I was planning on starting a new workout routine yesterday and was super excited to get back into running….hahaha, not now!!

Easter is sneaking up on me and I had no idea it was planning to do that.

Every year I have an Easter Egg Hunt in my backyard with our friends and their kiddos. This year I was thinking of what to hide in the yard. I do not like to fill the eggs with candies, so in the past I have done crappy dollar store toys. This year I am thinking outside of the box.

I was thinking about getting several of these wooden eggs  and having the kids paint them and we can hide those. I am thinking that I could make little baggies of cookies or banana bread bites or something…..

Any ideas?

It is beautiful outside. In case you forgot, it’s February. I love these nice days. They allow me to be inside and clean or read, or even twiddle my thumbs while the kids play the day away outside (I will bring my book outside too…I’m not afraid of nice weather). There is not much that they can destroy outside so they don’t need a bunch of supervision.

So much room to run!! (and look at little baby Sidney!!!)

Every time they tried to come inside I said nope, go outside and play.

Today is 65 degrees and beautiful- time for them to be outside and me inside cleaning!! I’m on my hands and knees scrubbing odd places of my house (back door jam, light switches, walls…who does that?!) when Sidney comes in holding his pants and underwear.

“what happened?”

“I pooped”

So many things rush through my head at once. Where? Why? Is it everywhere? Do you need a bath? But I could only ask the simple minded toddler one question.

“where?”

“in the grass.”

OK, that is gross but it could be MUCH worse.

“OK, let’s get you cleaned up”

I cleaned him up, got him new pants, and sent him back outside telling him not to poop in the yard again.

A few minutes later London comes in and says he needs a tissue. We all have colds so I just told him to go get some toilet paper from the bathroom.

He says, “So I can wipe my own butt??”

“wha???? Your butt? I thought you needed one for your nose!”

Disgusted and confused, I clean London up and don’t ask questions because I just assumed he had a fart that went awry (what??).

Fast forward to after nap. London lets it slip that he AND Sidney pooped in the yard earlier. Uh…

When you become a parent you know you have to teach your kids certain things, and you just hope that you do a good job and cover it all. You never think that one day you’ll have to teach them about not pooping in the yard.

I just looked at him not knowing what to say.

“I think you should tell Daddy”

“I don’t wanna”

He then begins to freak out. Bryan is a very good father. He hardly yells, but when he does it is powerful (read: they don’t listen to me like they do him). So I am telling him he won’t be in trouble, he just has to tell Daddy. He just doesn’t want to. He’s crying, and I am getting weirdly emotional and about to cry too. Finally he tells Daddy to come inside so he can talk to him. Bryan sits down, London is saying he’s sorry. Bryan is wondering what is going on and what he is sorry about. I’m still emotional.

Finally he says, “sorry I pooped in the yard”

Bryan looks at me with this face of pure confusion and I just cover my face to hold back the laughter.

Bryan says, “What?”

Bryan is trying not to laugh as he tells London that pooping in the yard is not OK.

“while pooping in the yard is not OK and if you do it again I will be mad, this is….”

Brady (little boy I am watching) interjects “-FUNNY!!”

Bryan loses it, laughs, and says, “yes, it is really funny, but seriously”  between laughter, “don’t do it again.”

All is well, London goes back outside and Bryan says “That was not my ideal father and son talk……”

So all in all, maybe it would be a good idea to inform your kids that pooping in the yard is definitely on the no list.

Don't let him fool you. He's plotting ways to be a toddler later.

I will never understand why my children willingly wake up before they are ready. I can’t tell if my oldest wakes the 2yr old up in the morning, or he sleeps like a crazy person with one eye open and is up at the slightest movement (they share a bed), but I do know that he is waking up earlier than his mind can handle. So what happens when a 2yr old is up before he’s ready? Oh, it is madness. You can’t put him back to bed because he’s too awake, so you have 5hrs of pure insanity.

First he’ll refuse to eat his breakfast because it’s not in the right bowl and he’ll throw himself in a pile of melted toddler on the floor. Then, he will pick on the oldest child just to make him mad and when asked repeatedly to stop, he won’t. As the morning progresses you realize that it would be best to just let him run amuck rather than stop him because he’ll beat you up. When you tell him to get out of the kitchen when he knows that is a no zone, he’ll scream at you and beat you up as you carry him out. Oh, don’t forget the melting toddler move, it’s a classic. If he takes a toy from the older child you’re faced with the decision to either get the toy from him and get screamed at for an unreasonable amount of time or hit and beat up, or you just look at your oldest and shrug your shoulders saying, “it’s out of my hands, I’m sorry” So you wind up going through your morning just watching in amazement at what a very delirious toddler can do when he is driven by pure exhaustion. It’s quite amazing.

Shh, they're asleep.......oh, wait

It still leaves me with the question…..why do you get up so early?? You do not have to jump out of bed at the first sign of light, or when your eyes open once. If this happens every morning, maybe that means you should stop doing it!?! We put them to bed at 8 so they are getting plenty of sleep, but like me, my youngest just can’t stand getting up before 7 (ha! Several years ago that number was a 10!!) but yet he does. I have been known to give him a splash of coffee when he is really bad and as crazy as that sounds, it worked amazingly well!! He was awake a little more, but not too much to where he was running on the walls. I do that VERY rarely….I don’t need him addicted.

One day he will grow out of this, but for now I am forced to deal with being screamed at for no reason and breaking up weird fights that are about nothing. I should go now. I just got smacked for no reason but because I am the mom, and I am the first person to get the beatings.

Enjoy your day!

I was sick this weekend. Are you a mom? Do you know what being sick while being a mom means? It means you go to work…while sick. So while I was laid up on the couch in my near death state the kids were taking advantage of it. At one point I told London that not only was he not helping out, but he was just being 100 times more crazy than usual. His response? “We are just kids mom” oh, ok….thanks.

My husband is a mechanic and he works all.the.time. When he gets sick he will either go to work and come home early, or he will whine and cry about it for awhile and I will serve him (unless he is throwing up, I trap him in his room and sleep on the couch at that point he’s on his own), but I don’t get served. Cartoons can only last a little while for the boys before the ants in their pants get a hold of them and they are running around the house like they ate 4 bags of sugar. In a matter of a day the closet in our spare room was emptied, the closet rod was busted, the play dough was attacked with a knife (resourceful, I know, and don’t worry I stepped in quickly on that one), the snacks were eaten at a rapid pace, and the cat’s water was emptied.

This is a previous mess made by the boys.

I am sure there is more that went on but I was sleeping and turned a blind eye. What the heck are you supposed to when you are sick and a full time mom? No one wants to come over and get sick with you, so inviting people to come help is rarely an option. Actually playing with your kids when you are that sick is not an option.  I think the most obvious option is to lock them in a closet, give them food and rest the day away. No? Fine. I am having a hard time thinking of some good ideas of how to entertain your kiddos while you are laid up sick, but here are a few ideas.

Send them on a treasure hunt! Just say “hey, go find me a red car!”, etc

let them drive cars on you!

Have them put on a talent show for you!

Give them your iPad

What ideas do you have for entertaining kids while being sick? I can tell you, allowing them to destroy your house is not a good option.

I have often thought that I am not doing it right….this whole parenting thing. I think, geez, my kids don’t have loads of friends and geez, we do a lot of sitting around, etc. But then I look at my boys and know that they are happy and they are smart, and funny, and adventurous. You don’t need set schedules everyday to make “smart” kids. I love watching London choose a toy from a store to save for his brother even when he’s not with us. I love seeing Sidney care for London when he is sad and bring him toys to make him happy. I love that they can take something that you wouldn’t expect and make it a fun and invent their own game. It truly is amazing to watch the boys create their own adventures and games. But, while they are fabulous at getting things going and having a blast with no assistance, they do occasionally need a jumpstart. I wanted to write this post to share with you some of my non conventional methods of fun/learning activities. I am sure that you’ll be able to utilize these ideas yourself for next to no work/money.

First, I love to give the boys a big bowl of dried beans and different sized bowls/scoops, etc. We establish a few ground rules like no throwing them, no eating them, etc,  but then they can just go to town filling and emptying containers, etc. As they get older you can teach them measurements and ask them to fill up a third of a cup, etc.  But, for now my boys love sitting there and playing with the beans.

Another variation of this is to get some water beads and use those in place of beans. You can find these at Wal-Mart in the floral section and I am sure that there are other places that sell them.

Another idea is to give them mini dry erase boards, marker and an eraser. Simple, go to town.

I recently rented a toy from our local early childhood education center and I loved the activities in this toy I rented. I plan on doing my own version soon. It was a box with the little counting bears (this one had little cars, but I happen to have the little bears here) and several sheets with different patterns and the boys had to complete the pattern, or there were a few with counting activities. They loved this, and it was something that I could just hand them and they could handle it on their own, plus they were learning! Check out your local Early Childhood Education Center and see if they have a toy rental program too!!

If you are OK with mess then these next ones are perfect for you! We like to let the boys do dishes. Just give them some chairs and some non-breakable items, soap and some cloths and they have a blast! Your dishes actually wind up really clean!

Let them shred up some tissue paper, make up a water and glue mixture and paint it on and the shredded tissue paper sticks! They like this one a lot.

Put some paint in a box and add some marbles and shake! Easy peasy

My new favorite is “take apart day” Just gather up old electronics, give them a screw driver and take everything apart! They have so much fun with this that we plan on doing this at least twice a month.

I also recommend getting the book Teach Your Child to Read in 100 Easy Lessons, it’s simple, easy, fast and fun.

There’s so many more things to do with kiddos while teaching them as well, but there’s just too much to list on here.

It is amazing how many things we can do to teach our kids even without having to sit them down and write out these extravagant lesson plans, etc. Kids learn with their world, we just need to give them a bit of a push. They are even learning when they are playing with their toys together and that involves nothing on my part! I love teaching my kids in unconventional way, it is rewarding and fun!

As a homeschooling family I feel the stress coming on as we approach school age. I have to remember that learning can be fun, and my kids are smart and amazing and they have learned so much even if it didn’t involve me sitting there with them all day drilling knowledge into them! You can teach your kids! Don’t compare your kids with other, and don’t compare yourself with other mothers, you’re doing it your way, and if it works, then good!

Check out my Pinterest board filled with learning activities for kiddos! http://pinterest.com/epleymama/i-am-their-teacher/

Merry Christmas to all who celebrate it! It has been a whirlwind of a week and I am still coming down from the craziness.

Next up, we have New Years! What are your plans? I am thinking this year might be the first year that my husband and I actually go out and celebrate. I finally discovered a nice young girl that lives across the street who can babysit my kids. I have so many things planned!

What are your New Years traditions? What should we do this year?

It has been insane around here to say the least. In boring family related news, the boys turned 2 and 4yrs old and are growing like weeds! Sidney is talking up a storm and London is really beginning to use his imagination in ways that amaze us daily. The husband has gotten a promotion but still isn’t happy and will be looking for another job. I got a job working as a hostess at a brand new restaurant and I love it. Bryan and I rarely see each other, but it is proving to work out really well because the money stress is gone and we have more love for each other when we do finally see each other for more than an hr. That’s enough updating.

We decided to do our own ghetto version of Elf on the Shelf because the real one is really expensive. The premise behind the Elf on the Shelf  is that he comes from the north pole and reports to Santa if you are being good or bad. We don’t do Santa here. Weird? Yeah, but it’s a choice we made. We told the kids that Santa is magic that lives in all of us and they can choose to believe whatever they would like, etc, etc. I am sure my mother in law would love this….ha. So we just have the elf around for fun. He does fun things while the boys are sleeping and they wake up and see what new, naughty things he has done.

Here he is making some ornaments.

Here is our "elf" playing with cars.

He made a big mess with the cereal!

London is obsessed. Sidney wakes up before him and tells London what he saw and then London asks Sidney over and over if Sidney saw the elf move at all because he is just certain the elf is real (we would never crush his imagination, if it is real to him, them great!), so cute! Christmas is magical and in our house there may not be a Santa creeping into our house leaving gifts and eating your cookies, we still have a magic within us that a lot of families are lacking.

What are some of your family’s special traditions around this time of year?

Hello, all! I am finally finished with my final and have the whole summer off! So now I have more time to pay attention to this blog….yeah, right, I say that now, but I have said that before

So, I have started a new diet and have so far lost 10lbs! I am doing the Dukan diet and the basic premise of it is a series of phases. The first phase is the attack phase. In the attack phase you are supposed to eat all protein (meat, low-fat dairy products, and 1.5 quarts of water, and 1.5 T of oat bran) for 1-10 days, whatever you choose (I am doing 10 days).

The second phase is the cruise phase and this phase is the one that you do all the way until you are at your goal weight. In this phase you can now add in virtually any vegetable (minus sugary, or starchy ones) every other day. So every other day you eat veggies and protein and every other day you eat all protein.

The third phase is the consolidation phase and you do this phase 5 days per pound that you lost in the cruise phase. This phase is just like the cruise phase except there’s multiple new foods you can add back in and you get two free meals every week (not days, meals).

The fourth phase is the phase that allows you to maintain your new weight for the rest of your life. In this phase you live the rest of your life eating what you want but you have to have 1 day a week of only protein like in the attack phase. According to Dukan if you follow this plan you will never gain your weight back as long as you are making reasonable eating choices.

So I am ending my attack phase on wed and according to his website, I will be at my goal weight by August. After I reach my goal weight I don’t know if I will continue on to the 3rd phase. I know that it is nessecary to keep the weight off forever but I think I can make healthier choices and maintain this myself because I don’t want to be this big ever again.

Pick up the book, I think it is a good concept and I have seen so many changes in the way I feel that I recommend this over and over again!

Sorry I have been neglecting the daily goals! I fell at the zoo on Thursday and hurt my knee pretty badly so I have not been able to walk well…trust me, there is a blog post in this.

I did succeed in my goal of folding all of the laundry though which is a good thing considering stairs are not happening with my knee! I will post pictures later, I know you cannot wait!

My goal for today is to basically clean the house, but I don’t think that’s enough. If my knee will let me then I would like to organise London’s room. If my knee protests then I will work on getting this living room/dining area in order.

Having a daily goal has been somewhat helping me keep things in order. How about you?